The Korean reality show ToGetHer, the country’s first lesbian dating program, has sparked heated discussions just days after its premiere due to a controversy involving contestant Dagyo. Her ex-girlfriend’s public claims about their breakup have fueled online debates, but many netizens have come to Dagyo’s defense, arguing that personal matters should not overshadow her participation in the groundbreaking show.
What Happened with Dagyo?
ToGetHer premiered on April 23, 2025, featuring eight women living together in a house as they seek genuine romantic connections. The show, produced by CJ ENM, aims to be a milestone in LGBTQ+ representation in South Korea, a country where such visibility remains rare on mainstream television. Dagyo, a 28-year-old graphic designer from Seoul, quickly became a fan favorite due to her warm personality and artistic flair.
However, shortly after the first episode aired, a post allegedly made by Dagyo’s ex-girlfriend surfaced online. The post claimed that Dagyo ended their relationship abruptly without explanation to join the reality show. The ex-girlfriend wrote:
We broke up suddenly. I thought it was my fault, so I let her go, but now it all makes sense.
The post, shared on April 25, 2025, via social media platforms, gained significant attention, with some users questioning whether Dagyo joined ToGetHer with sincere intentions. The claims suggested that Dagyo may have ended her relationship solely to participate in the show, leading to speculation about her authenticity as a contestant.
Netizens Defend Dagyo
While the allegations sparked debate, a large portion of netizens quickly came to Dagyo’s defense. Many argued that breakups are a natural part of life and should not be used to judge her character or motives. On X, users expressed their support, emphasizing that personal relationships are complex and private. One user wrote:
qrts grilling dagyo. idk let them be. falling out of love is not the crime you think it all is.
Another user added:
i need everybody to stfu and leave dagyo alone for now (i dont even watch the show) but damn she broke up with her ex clean and all. its not anyone’s business to pry. why are you all so bent on bullying her tf.
Supporters pointed out that Dagyo’s decision to join ToGetHer does not inherently mean her intentions were insincere. They stressed that the show’s purpose is to explore new connections, and past relationships should not dictate her eligibility or authenticity.
ToGetHer’s Unique Format
ToGetHer has been praised for its fresh approach to reality television. Unlike traditional dating shows, it focuses on emotional bonding rather than competition. The contestants, aged 25 to 35, include professionals like Dagyo, as well as a barista, a fitness trainer, and a veterinarian. They live together for six weeks, participating in group activities and one-on-one dates to build relationships.
The show is hosted by Lee Hyori, a veteran K-pop star known for her advocacy for inclusivity. In a press conference before the premiere, Lee Hyori said:
This show is about real emotions and real people. We want to show that love is universal, no matter who you are.
The production team has emphasized that all contestants underwent thorough background checks and interviews to ensure they were genuinely interested in forming connections. ToGetHer also includes weekly therapy sessions for contestants to discuss their feelings, a feature that has been lauded for promoting mental health.
The Controversy’s Impact on the Show
The controversy surrounding Dagyo has brought unexpected attention to ToGetHer, both positive and negative. Some viewers expressed disappointment, feeling that the allegations detracted from the show’s mission to promote LGBTQ+ visibility. Others, however, believe the discussions have highlighted the importance of such representation, as they show the real-life complexities faced by the contestants.
On X, a user noted:
like that rumor about Dagyo (breaking up with her ex to join the show), its rlly not that big of a deal..even lgbt ppl in korea dont care abt it they see it as a silly issue thats not worth paying attention to.
The controversy has also sparked broader conversations about privacy and public scrutiny. Many netizens criticized the tendency to dig into contestants’ personal lives, especially for a show that aims to break stereotypes. One user commented:
yeah, but if the contestants have a clean background n some incel, misogynistic men start digging for dirt, the issues they find would just seem silly/not worth caring abt.
Dagyo’s Response
As of May 3, 2025, Dagyo has not directly addressed the allegations. Sources close to the production team report that she is focusing on her experience on the show and prefers to keep her personal life private. During the second episode, aired on April 30, 2025, Dagyo was seen forming a close bond with another contestant, Soojin, a 30-year-old veterinarian. Their interactions, marked by shared interests in art and music, have been well-received by viewers.
The production team has also remained silent on the issue, likely to avoid fueling further speculation. However, CJ ENM released a general statement about the show’s goals:
ToGetHer is a platform for authentic stories and connections. We stand by our contestants and their journeys.
Public and Media Reactions
Korean media outlets have covered the controversy with caution, focusing on the show’s cultural significance rather than the allegations against Dagyo. The Korea Herald described ToGetHer as “a bold step forward for South Korean television,” noting that the controversy reflects the challenges of introducing such content in a conservative society.
Internationally, the show has garnered praise from LGBTQ+ advocacy groups. GLAAD, a U.S.-based organization, issued a statement:
ToGetHer is a groundbreaking moment for representation in Asia. We hope the focus remains on the contestants’ stories, not unnecessary scrutiny.
Viewers have taken to social media to share their thoughts, with many calling for respect for Dagyo’s privacy. The hashtag #SupportDagyo trended briefly on X on April 27, 2025, with fans posting messages of encouragement.
Why the Controversy Matters
The situation with Dagyo underscores the challenges of producing a show like ToGetHer in South Korea, where LGBTQ+ individuals often face societal stigma. The controversy has highlighted the delicate balance between personal privacy and public interest, especially for reality show contestants. It also raises questions about how much of a contestant’s past should be scrutinized when they participate in a program meant to celebrate love and identity.
For Dagyo, the support from netizens has been a silver lining. Fans of the show continue to rally behind her, urging others to focus on her journey on ToGetHer rather than her past relationships. As one viewer wrote:
Let Dagyo find her happiness. That’s what this show is about.
Current status
As of May 4, 2025, ToGetHer continues to air weekly on CJ ENM’s streaming platform, with the third episode scheduled for May 7, 2025. The show has maintained strong viewership, with over 1.2 million streams for the premiere episode. Dagyo remains a prominent contestant, and her storyline with Soojin is expected to develop further in upcoming episodes.
The controversy appears to be losing steam online, as netizens shift their focus to the show’s positive moments. CJ ENM has announced plans to release behind-the-scenes content featuring the contestants, which may help redirect attention to the show’s core message of love and connection.
CREDITS: The Korea Herald, GLAAD
